Recipes for when it's gremlin time

Activate bridge troll mode

Hello, chefs.

There’s not a whole lot I miss about living alone. Two hands truly are better than one (or in this case, four are better than two), and I barely ever become paralyzed with fear on the couch at 10pm that my house is teeming with paranormal activity. It’s a dream! Plus, obviously, spending every waking moment with the loml is sick, too.

Dan’s not touring anymore, but there’s still an odd weekend here and there where he’s either traveling with friends or working late. When I tell people he’s away they usually say something along the lines of, “ah, nice, so you’re having a chill weekend?” Nay!!!! Dan is a human weed pen! Being in the same room as him lowers both my cortisol and my natural drive to be working on some insane project at all times. It’s when he’s gone that my weekends are bananas. Plus, I have to do my own laundry.

But I suppose the one redeeming quality of his absences is that with no one around to gently recommend that I give the laptop a break and maybe take a shower, I can activate bridge troll mode in peace. Last weekend I sat in bed until noon writing Sheets formulas to help us keep our nuptial planning organized. Dishes piled in the sink. I ate slices of cheese dipped in hummus. Absolute gremlin vibes.

Part of bridge troll life, naturally, is the food. One can’t subsist on random bits and bobs from the fridge and takeout alone. When I cook for just myself, I want it to be (1) fast, (2) veggie-forward (am I the only one who hates cooking meat for myself?), and (3) easily reheated so I can live off of it for a few days. So here are two dishes that are my go-to when I’m eating alone. Go forth and conquer your gremlin weekends, friends.

-Faith

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Stewed chickpea and artichoke pasta

This is an all-time favorite dish that’s both complex, nutritious, cheap, and keeps well in the fridge all week. Swap out the beans, add more greens, truly any variation that sounds tasty here probably is. Get wild!

1. Boil a small box of shells, save a bit of the pasta water, and drain.

2. Saute a chopped onion and a few cloves of crushed garlic in olive oil until soft and fragrant. Add a can of drained chickpeas and two cans of chopped artichokes, season with salt and red pepper flakes, and cook for a couple of minutes. Add a splash of white wine or dry vermouth and let it cook off, then add enough broth (chicken or vegetable) to just about cover what’s in the pan. Simmer while your pasta cooks.

3. When the pasta is done, add to the pan with your vegetables along with a healthy grating of parm. Cook on low and stir until it comes together and most of your liquid is absorbed, adding a bit of pasta water as needed to bring it together.

All-week frittata

If I ever ran for president, my platform would be using eggs as a base for a meal rather than grains. This was my single lady obsession. It’s a veggie-heavy frittata that covers your protein and green components for a meal. It keeps well in the fridge (just slide it out of the cast iron rather than storing it directly in the pan), and you can add different toppings depending on what level of gremlin mode you’ve achieved. Some of my favorites are crispy sweet potatoes and turmeric spiced yogurt, ricotta or burrata and crispy chickpeas, or on a bed of fresh greens dressed in lemon and oil. Again - go crazy!

1. Whisk 8 eggs in a large bowl. Chop up any veggies you’d like; I usually go for 1/2 of an onion or a few shallots, a head of asparagus or broccoli, and a bit of thinly-sliced kale.

2. Preheat your broiler.

3. Heat a bit of olive oil in a cast iron over medium. Add your veggies and cook until they’re bright green and still a bit crisp. Season with salt and pepper.

4. Pour your eggs over your veggies and use a rubber spatula to gently encourage some of the uncooked egg to slide under the cooked bottom. Cook on the stove top until juuuuuuust about set (there should still be a bit of liquid egg on top), then pop in the broiler to finish - just watch it closely so it doesn’t burn!